Adventures in Vegetarianism

I held the warm but very still body in my arms and wrinkled my nose. It smelled absolutely horrific. Who in their right, vampire mind would want to put their teeth to something so … furry? I did and apparently I was out of my mind. There just had to be a better way.

“You already broke the neck, Char,” Peter called out from his perch high in the branches above me. “I kinda doubt it tastes better if the blood’s gone cold.”

“Shut up, Peter!” I hissed without taking my eyes off the body in my arms. “I’m trying to concentrate.”

‘Well, concentrate quicker, babe, I’m bored and you told me I can’t come down out of the tree until you drink that.”

“Two minutes, doll, just give me two damn minutes,” I growled in frustration.

I heard him snort and I knew that he was counting on me to chicken out. We’d made a deal when we spent all that time in Forks, expecting to be wiped efficiently off the face of the earth by the Volturi, that, if we survived, Peter would try the vegetarian diet with me for three months. He was not allowed to back out of the deal. The only one that could break it was me because it had been my idea. I really wanted what Alice and Jasper had. Maybe not necessarily going to school, for a long time yet anyway, but I wanted to live in a house and have nice things. And lots of clothes. Definitely clothes.

And, as I pointed out to Peter, if we survived, we’d probably be safer sticking together and increasing our numbers given how I’d not so subtly eavesdropped on him and Eleazar talking about how the Volturi would probably track down and kill any witness, allies or survivors. Eventually, anyway.

But I knew Peter was betting on me gagging up what little blood I could force down my throat and disgustedly declaring that I would drink humans and only humans from now until the end of my time. I could not, I would not, let that happen.

I lowered my razor sharp teeth into the furry flesh of the deer I cradled in my arms and took a long swallow.

It was repulsive. Absolutely repulsive. I wanted to spit it out right then and there. But I couldn’t. If I did, Peter would win. And I’d been itching to be like Alice for decades but always gave in to his silly whims about ‘proper food sources’ and not being tied down. If drinking gross, disgusting, revolting animal blood was how I was going to get my way, so be it. I would get my way.

So I drank more, forcing myself to swallow every last drop of the lame excuse for blood.

When I finished, I dropped the carcass at my feet and looked up at a my mate. “All gone, doll, and was delicious,” I lied through gritted teeth. “Go get yourself one.”

“After you chased them all away,” he muttered, hopping down from his perch. “Remember, babe, don’t spit anything out. I’ll know if you do and then the deal is off.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” I grumbled irritably. “Just go get the fucking deer already. I know the rules.”

He darted into the forest and I fought back the urge to vomit deer blood all over myself. I waited until I could hardly hear Peter anymore and bent down to pick up the deer. It didn’t smell so bad now that it was empty. I could only imagine how my breath smelled. I stalked across the clearing with it in my arms and uprooted a small tree. Depositing the dead deer in the hole, I was about to cheat and spit one last mouthful of blood onto the body, surely Peter wouldn’t notice it there, when I heard him come back. I jumped up, replanted the tree and swallowed the foul tasting liquid with a final, reluctant gulp.

I said a silent prayer that he wouldn’t notice the still sort of fresh blood in my mouth. “That was too fast!” I protested petulantly. “How’d you catch one and drink it so fast?”

He shrugged nonchalantly. “It was easy enough. And, babe? Bambi was delicious. I’m in for this vegetarian bit.”

I almost growled at him. Peter, big bad vampire that he was, could not like deer blood. It wasn’t possible. As far as I knew, even Carlisle didn’t actually like it, much less consider delicious! There was only one explanation. “You’re lying!”

“Think about what you’re accusing me of, babe,” he said casually. “If I lied and didn’t even drink one, I’d still end up drinking them eventually. Wouldn’t I?”

I scowled at him. For the thousandth time, I asked myself why I put up with someone so damn smug about everything. And then he grinned at me. It was hard to scowl in response to his sexy smile. So I settled for leaning forward and sniffing him. He’d definitely drank the swill.

“So we’re vegetarians, then?” I asked, now completely confused about whether I was happy or depressed by that fact.

“Yep,” he said with a firm nod. “Vegetarians. Alice’ll be delighted.”

“And Jasper will be shocked,” I added. I was going to say something else but the thing that had been eating at the back of my brain for the last few seconds finally chewed its way through. I dropped my voice to a whisper and added a snarl for good measure. “What did you call the thing you just ate?”

He looked a little alarmed but wouldn’t let himself show it too much. “Bambi?”

And then I lost it. “Do. Not. Call. The. Deer. Bambi. You. Fucking. Ass!” I growled as I all but flew around the clearing, destroying everything in my path. “How. The. Hell. Am. I. Supposed. To. Eat. Bambi!”

My tantrum lasted just a few minutes and, when it ended, I was mortified to find Carlisle and Esme Cullen standing next to Peter with pure shock etched on their faces.

“Feel better, babe?” my mate asked with a smirk.

I resisted the urge to snarl at him in from of Carlisle and Esme, smiling serenely at them instead. “I’ll replant what can be replanted,” I promised for reasons I didn’t understand.

“What happened?” Esme said a little breathlessly. “Is everything alright?”

I nodded a little more eagerly than was probably strictly necessary. “Mm-hmm. Just fine. We decided to try your diet and Peter called the deer Bambi. I, uh, disagreed.”

“That may be understating things a bit, don’t you think?” Carlisle suggested wryly. “And, Peter, neither of you will succeed at a diet where you personalize your food source. Are you both serious about trying it?”

“Yes,” I said before Peter could speak. “We are. Will you help us?”

Esme glanced quickly at Carlisle and then smiled at me. “Of course we will. But you need to follow our rules, one of those being no unnecessary destruction of the environment.”

Peter jumped up from his spot on the ground and held out his hand to me. “Come on, Char, let’s go clean up your mess and think about all the yummy deer we’re going to be eating.”

I didn’t want to growl at him just then, Esme didn’t approve of growling at one’s mate and, for some strange reason, I didn’t want to disappoint Esme. But I would growl at him later for being an ass. I kept my thoughts to myself and set about replanting the trees and bushes that were still salvageable after my tantrum.

I couldn’t help but groan when I just barely heard what Carlisle whispered to his mate.

“I think we may have our work cut out for us.”

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